A nap (but so much more)

Currently, I am sitting on our newly decorated upstairs family room watching episode three of a Grey’s Anatomy season that happened in 2010. How did I manage to get this far behind? Oh yeah, I got married, then bought a house, then a puppy, then had a baby. Actually, I am not watching at all, well my eyes are watching but my ears are pinned to a certain nursery where my baby boy is taking his first nap in his crib. I know I know, he is almost three months old. It isn’t like he hasn’t napped in three months, he has, just not in there. It seems like such a place for big boys. My little guy needs to nap in the pack and play, or on the couch bundled up next to me, or in the swing while max keeps watch next to him, or for goodness sakes in his mama’s arms! Last night as I lay in bed, I decided that today was the day. I was going to put him down for naps in his own “big boy” bed. Even if that meant a few tears. (for both of us) So this morning I put him down all bundled up with sleep in his tiny eyes, kissed his little pudgy cheek and walked away leaving the door open just a crack. And he cried, but only for five minutes, I said a prayer thanking God it wasn’t longer because I knew this mama’s heart wasn’t ready for more than that just yet. About twenty minutes in I peered through that crack I had left in the door, and he was there sleeping peacefully. And so I sit, with baited breath as Meredith Grey narrates my morning, for a little man who will need me again.


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