As you may have read in an earlier post, Brandon and I have decided to give up sugar for the month of April.
Well, let’s be real, pretty much everything has sugar in it, so the true parameters are, no sugary treats or things with obvious sugar, and when reading the ingredients off the box, sugar can’t be one of the first three things listed. And when we eat out, we are just careful not to order things obviously sugary including drinks or dessert.
It started like this.
First of all, isn’t my husband the jam? like seriously. He was on board from my first moments of me even thinking about it.
So, I am one week in. 7 days. 7 long days.
Ok, let me back up a little and let you in on the extent of my sugar addiction so that I don’t sound so much like a winey baby and more like a grown person with a serious problem.
I love sugar, I love sugary things, if there aren’t cookies or desserts around, I have been known to eat slices of white bread plain. Seriously. I love to bake, and up until this Monday it was very rare that you would see my kitchen counter without a plateful of cookies in some form on it. My most common breakfast consisted of a large mug of coffee with flavored creamer and added sugar, and a cookie, a big one. (It was my whole breakfast, it had to be large.) A full batch of cookies never lasted more than
2 3 days at our house, and Brandon barely eats sweets and I am pretty sure our roommate only eats canned chicken and broccoli. And the good Lord knows if there was ice cream in my freezer I couldn’t walk by without having a spoonful.
I know some of this sounds silly and I do say it all in a joking tone, but in reality, I
had have a sugar problem. When I don’t have it around, I crave it, and I eventually realized I didn’t like the idea of something like that having control over me. It’s funny how you think you’ve got it all together and then God brings forward something else in your life that is obviously sinful. I was letting sugar dictate part of me. I was making it an idol in my own way. I needed to give that part of my life to Christ and I hadn’t even realized it. So I started by praying and then texted Brandon.
In the days to follow we talked more about it, and watched a few food documentaries on netflix which have us making even more changes to our diets (post to come later on that.)
So, I am 7 days in. I knew the first week would be hard. The good news is that Brandon hasn’t come home to find me stowed away in the pantry eating chocolate chips. I have actually kept to the fast. The bad news is that it sucks. It’s so hard yall. I have had actually physical pain from it. Yeah, how addicted was I? The thing I miss most (besides cookies of course, they are a given)? Sugary flavored coffee. I have had to give up coffee all together because I can’t drink it without sugar unless I have flavored creamer and it’s full of sugar too, so buhbye. ( I did have a cup at lunch today with a bit of half and half and some artificial sweetener, but I hate putting artificial sweetener in my body, sorry Diet Coke, and I have been feeling bad about it all day so I guess that option is out too.) There is all kinds of talk about natural sweeteners and I do have some stevia at my house because I think it’s a good natural option, but truly it’s a matter of the heart, am I putting it in because I am craving something sweet? boom, therein lies the problem. I feel like people have been posting nothing but wedding cakes and peanut butter pies and ice cream cones on their instagrams and facebook and they all make me want to cry. Seriously.
I literally have to ask God every moment I crave something sweet to take the feeling away, to replace it with Him, to remind me that He is enough. Because He is. And here’s the kicker. He won’t love me any more or any less than he has ever before because I am giving up sugar. He loves me the same yesterday, today, and forever, coffee cake crumbs on my face or not, and because of that, I owe him this part of me, and so much more. Amen?